Inspiration for Career Success: It's Not About the Money

I have a couple of inspirational clippings which live on my desk that i thought i might share. 

The first comes from Daniel Myrick, director of the Blair Witch Project, amongst others. the quotation comes from a 4/24/08 interview in the NY Times:

'Blair Witch' gave me some financial security at a time which I was having trouble coming up the money to pay the phone bill . . . being able to say no, to only make the work that you really love and have a good time doing it, is another way to be successful.

The second comes from Sherry Lansing's Success Rules for Graduates in the UCLA Alumni Magazine, fall/winter 2004 issue. At the time, Ms. Lansing was the chairperson of the Motion Picture Group of Paramount Pictures, a member of the UCLA Theater, Film & Television Dean's Advisory Board and a University of California Regent. 

The UCLA Alumni Magazine describes Lansing's rise:

Although Lansing's parents wanted her to marry and become an office assistant to her doctor boyfriend, she dreamed of being part of the movies."But at the at time, telling somebody that you wanted to be in the movie business was like telling somebody that your wanted to go to the moon, " she said.

 Undaunted, on the day of her graduation from Northwestern University, Lansing loaded up her car and headed to California. . . In 1980, at Twentieth Century Fox, she made history by becoming the first woman in the motion picture industry to hold the position of president of production.

These comments were part of a her keynote address to the UCLA Class of 2004, delivered 6/18/04. I have found these thoughtfully composed words a creed to live by:

1. Follow your dreams.
2. Be persistent.
3. Enjoy the process, and the results will come. 
4. Do the work. There really are no short cuts.
5. Accept responsibility, especially for failures.
6. Be yourself. Develop your own style.
7. Change is good. New risks and new challenges keep you alive.
8. Don't be afraid to fail. Fear of failure leads to mediocrity. If you play it safe you will make boring movies, boring plays and boring songs -- and, worse yet, you will live a boring life.
9. Don't forget to have a personal life. Relationships with family and friends are simply the most important things in life.
10. Don't forget the F word -- Fun. Try to have fun every day! Without fun, nothing else makes any sense. It's an important component of life, and humor and fun can get you through almost anything.

Both of these quotes are from a by-gone era, before the Great Recession, or the Lesser Depression, as Nobel prize winning economist Paul Krugman describes our current economy. So in some ways they seems naive and Pollyanna-ish in relationship to the present economic realities. Yet, an idealist at heart, I still yearn to live by these goals and trust that in doing so life's treasures will unfold before me.

 I want to add about Lansing's rule #10: my previous occupation was in the theater. I worked in LA and NYC on Broadway, film and television. My heart was always in the theatre: theatre is life. Something i noticed there that really left an impression, was the ability to find laughter in the gravest of circumstances. Theatre people work long hours: nights, weekends and holidays, in order to put on the show to entertain the masses. It gets stressful and fatiguing. Yet theatre people know how to diffuse all situations, tension, grief and anger, through laughter. They know how to laugh anything off. I found that a valuable lesson, learned in my early adulthood: the ability  to find the humor in any situation.                                       KB










Photo 1: tony_the_bald_eagle, flickr creative commons 2.0

Photo 2: Matthew Grapengieser, flickr creative commons 2.0

Pearls from the Pema Chodrum Retreat: Living Beautifully with Uncertainty & Change

I attended a Pema Chodrum retreat this weekend entitled "Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change". Ane Pema, if you don't know, is a celebrity Buddhist nun and inspirational speaker who has written many popular books about adapting to and handling the troubles life brings. During the weekend retreat she offered many pearls to help one adapt to the curve balls life throws at us.

Ane Pema began the weekend Friday night with a metaphor about the river of life. She explained that our tendency is to seek the safety of the shoreline. However our mistake is in our grasping to hang on to the perceived security there. Life, she continued, takes place in the flow of the river, and we can't be afraid to jump in. She could not guarantee that in the river we wouldn't get banged up a bit, repelling on boulders and trying to keep our heads up in the rapids. but the river is where life happens, and where growth occurs. Clinging to the shoreline inevitably causes suffering and pain. We most certainly will get bruised and our hands and arms will get weak in our attempts to hang on to the branches to keep from becoming swallowed up by the flow of the river. On the shoreline we are stagnant. In the river, we move forward wherever life takes us.

I found this metaphor liberating, contemplating that we need to let go of the fear that keeps us clinging to the shoreline of familiarity and a false sense of security and that we must allow ourselves to jump in and flow down the river of life. That we cannot escape the suffering of the river by clinging to the shore. That the clinging to the shoreline is painful and though riding the river will also involve suffering, we must accept that and embrace the flow of the river.

Saturday morning Ane Pema opened with an exercise. She asked us to to remember an interaction that involved difficult feelings and pain. Not an incident that was a 10, but something smaller, a 2-3 (on a 1-10 scale). And to think about the incident and to feel the negative emotions that arose during the uncomfortable situation. Next to ask oneself who is in control here? Are the emotions in control of oneself, or am I in control of the emotions? And to remember this when difficult situations arise triggering negative emotions: who is in control? not to allow the emotions to control us, especially not to allow the negative emotions that often rapidly arise to cause us to do or say something unskillful that would cause pain for ourselves or others.

As we got in touch with the negative emotions and the pain the situation caused us, we ask the emotion to stay while we feel the intensity of the pain and ask ourselves "do i want others to experience this pain?" "do i want to do or say something that would cause this type of pain to arise in others?". its a compassion practice. in answering the questions, we remember in the future to pull back when triggered by negative emotions. "who is in control here"? so that we don't react and unwisely do or say something that will escalate the situation and bring more pain and suffering to oneself and others.

Its a high spiritual task, that requires putting the matter in which we deal with a situation ahead of the principal or substance at stake during times of conflict.

Hearty food for spiritual contemplation.

After lunch Ane Pema began by talking about charnal ground meditation. Tibetan Buddhists have something called a sky burial practice. Because of the permafrost in the Tibetan mountains, the ground is too hard to bury bodies, and there is not enough fuel to cremate the bodies of all of the dead. So the Tibetan Buddhists began a rite of sky burial. Apologies in advance for the graphic description of the practice here. The Tibetans put the bodies on a high mountain peak for the vultures to take away. But because you wouldn't want the vultures to drop grandmas leg bone in farmer Jone's field, the monks first cut up the bodies into small pieces. The sky burial site is called the charnal ground.

As you can imagine, the charnal ground is not a pleasant place to hang out and during warmer weather is rather unappealing to the nose.

The monks developed a meditation practice called Chu practice, where they go to the charnal grounds to meditate on the strong emotions that arise while being there: aversion, fear and so forth. They watch the emotions arise to examine the emotions: where and how do they arise? how do they feel? are they solid? and do they dissipate? they do this Chu practice to learn how to deal with arisal of negative emotions.

Ane Pema emphasized that you have to go to the charnal grounds and sit amongst the cut up bodies to do this practice. you can't do it by imagining the charnal ground, or going to a serene cemetery with the neatly mowed grass and tombstones with bouquets of flowers lined up in orderly rows. you must do it in the gruesome surroundings on the charnal grounds to fully feel the emotions that arise in that place.

So Ane Pema suggest to let life and the fear that arises during uncertainty be a charnal ground practice. When the fear arises, sit with it, examine it, and watch it as it grows and subsides. Ane Pema pointed out that the emotions cannot exist without a story to feed them. Take away the story and the emotions dissolve. We feed anger with our story of righteous indignation and morality plays of right and wrong. We feed hurt with stories of victimhood or neglect, rejection and so on. We feed anxiety with stories of loss, lack (of security), and helplessness. Take away the story and the emotion dissipates. To take away the story, one must discipline one's mind through meditation not to keep thinking the repetitive thoughts, to stop obsessive thinking.

And one must let go of the shoreline and not be afraid to jump into the river. To do this, one must accept that in the river suffering is inevitable and we do get hurt. But grasping and clinging to the shoreline is not an effective method to avoid life's suffering. Grasping, clinging and attachment to the security of the shore only produces more suffering. Living in the river is a charnal ground practice. the pay off is liberation. KB


Photo by kevin 1040 Flickr Creative Commons 2.0

Developing a Loving Kindness Practice

A few months ago I finished a book I had been reading by His Holiness the Dalai Lama: How to Expand Love.  Since reading the book a year ago, I have been working on developing a personal or loving-kindness practice. My goal is to being to feel loving-kindness towards all living beings. A lofty goal to achieve, I have taken the first step at the beginning.

A loving-kindness meditation I was recently taught begins with thinking of a loved one and feeling the loving-kindness one feels towards that being: wishing this being love, peace, happiness, security and freedom from suffering, pain, and harm. The idea is to experience the depth and feeling of loving-kindness. Next one moves to a teacher or master, someone one respects, and again feeling the loving-kindness one feels for this person, wishing this person love, peace, happiness, security and that s/he will be free from suffering, pain, and harm. Again experiencing the depth and feeling of loving-kindness one feels for this respected person.


Next one moves to oneself, wishing this feeling of loving-kindness for oneself. That I will enjoy love, peace, happiness, security and be free from suffering, pain, and harm. Experience the feelings of loving-kindness, the wish of peace, happiness and security and desire to be free of pain, suffering and harm.


Lastly, one expands these feelings outward. If one is meditating in a group, wishing that everyone in the room will enjoy happiness and and the causes of happiness, be free from suffering and the causes of suffering. Alternatively one can work outward in the four directions, wishing peace and happiness for everyone in front of oneself, then in back, then to the sides: to the right, to the left.


Then one continues to cycle through the four phases, noticing what comes up during the practice. Initially I noticed a deep desire for peace and happiness, and freedom from pain and suffering. I saw that all living beings share this same longing, and that I wish all other beings freedom from pain and suffering, out of the same desire that I wished it for myself.

After one practices the meditation for some time, one will be ready to begin expanding it ever outward, first to neutrals: the supermarket cashier, the call center person, the bank teller and so on. People you interact with but don't have feelings for: either of love or anger.

Then one begins the harder work: wishing those towards whom one harbors feelings of anger or resentment peace, happiness and freedom of pain and suffering. Next one works with those one has deeper feelings of anger and mistrust, those one might consider enemies. This group is difficult, but worthwhile to master. 


His Holiness the Dalai Lama explains the steps of this practice in his book, How to Expand Love. It is an interesting practice of self-exploration, to be sure. Of course the ultimate goal is to take the practice off the cushion and into one's daily life. One could practice emanating feelings of loving-kindness outward in the four directions while sitting in traffic or at the grocery store line.


Recently while practicing I realized that all beings suffer, just like I, many suffer 1,000 times more. I try to remember this especially when interacting with those with whom there is a history of anger, resentment and mistrust. Just like me these people suffer. Remembering that those who have been a source of hurt or harm are also suffering helps one develop compassion towards those with whom relationships are difficult. I believe this is one of the steps towards forgiveness. I have found remembering this takes some of the edge off the sharpness of the negative emotions one feels.


I recently noticed myself harboring and fueling negative thoughts towards a party who has hurt me deeply. I saw that this destructive path was only causing further suffering for myself. The solution I found is to not allow the mind to go down this rabbit hole of misery. When I caught my mind going down the path of negativity, I stopped it and reminded myself that this path does not lead to enlightenment. It only leads to the hell realm, and I was only causing myself pain by traveling down it. To provide a healthier alternative for my active mind, I did the loving-kindness meditation. When found my mind wandering down the familiar path, I again reminded myself that this path only leads to more suffering. 


One morning when practicing the loving-kindness meditation I realized that the warm, peace of loving-kindness is where I would like to reside. That this oasis from the misery of the negative emotions: anger, resentment and ill will is where I wish to dwell. This desire increases my motivation to continue the loving-kindness practice. It is simply a more pleasant place to be. The payoff of harboring negative emotions is misery for oneself. Though fueling these emotions can sometimes be seductive, the place that path leads is pain and suffering. Practicing loving-kindness is the way to peace and happiness, for all sentient beings.                                        KB


Photo: acaben, flickr Creative Commons 2.0

Impermanance. Or Change You Can Believe In

I woke up this morning with a moment of clarity about impermanence. Impermanence is a Buddhist concept that many westerner's have difficulty grasping. But this morning I saw clearly how our refusal to accept impermanence maintains the bondage of our suffering.

We try to achieve materialist goals we set for ourselves: home ownership, a new car, steady, rewarding employment and so on. I'm not saying its wrong to strive for these achievements, but our mistaken belief that once achieved these things will last leads to our suffering when we lose them.

I suppose the recent tsunami in Japan, tornado's in Alabama and other southeastern states, and flooding along the Mississippi has made me realize how quickly we can lose everything we've worked for.

Home ownership is an American dream, and once in our grasp we spend much time investing our energy to customizing our homes to meet our desires. We work under the false assumption that the home will always be standing. Even if we do not live in a flood zone, we can lose our home to fire or our valuables to burglary. Yet we labor under the false assumption that we will always have our home and its contents until we decide to sell. When disaster strikes, we are mentally unprepared to lose all that we have labored to achieve, and thus suffer from our loss.

I am suggesting that our materialist approach to life, working to accumulate things, causes our pain when we inevitably lose them: a fine china platter breaks, a new car gets hit in the parking lot. We falsely assume that our cherished ones will stay in optimal condition, and consequently suffer when they inevitably degrade. This idea also applies to the people and pets we love.

I'm not saying it's wrong to fixed up a home, or buy a piece of artwork. What i am saying is that we should do so knowing that tomorrow the house could be lost, rather than working under the presumption that our treasured ones will be with us always, and in the same condition as they are in today.

This recession has shown that jobs are fleeting. We may even have to leave our painstakingly constructed cocoon to find employment in another city or state. It is our blindness to the impermanence of our situation that causes the pain from our loss of what we held dear.

Rather, I propose, if we operated under the premise that nothing lasts, we might live a more nomadic existence. Our priorities would shift so that we wouldn't focus on accumulation and we be more prepared to shift with life's winds. Consequently, change would be expected. We would be ready for it and would suffer less pain from loss.

Try it on and see what shifts for you. KB

An Eloquent TDay Message Reaches From the Past

This eloquent Thanksgiving Day Proclamation was issued by Gov. Wilbur L Cross of CT in 1936. The Governor's words reach across time to speak to our modern hearts. it begins:

Time out of mind at this turn of the seasons when the hardy oak leaves rustle in the wind and the frost gives a tang to the air and the dusk falls early and the friendly evenings lengthen under the heel of Orion, it has seemed good to our people to join together in praising the Creator and Preserver, who has brought us by a way that we did not know to the end of another year.

Stress & Anxiety is Caused by the Drive to Avoid Suffering

The first of the Four Noble Truths given by Sakyamuni Buddha is that life involves suffering. it is our wish, our strong desire, our struggle to avoid suffering that is the root cause of stress and anxiety. Buddhism fundamentally teaches to accept suffering as part of the condition of living. if we can accept the truth of suffering as part of living, then the struggle to prevent suffering diminishes.

of course we have goals in life and we do what we can to achieve them. the struggle against obstructions in our path to achieve our goals causes stress and anxiety due to fear of the suffering involved in not achieving our goals. if we can accept that suffering is part of life, then the stress and anxiety involved in the struggle to prevent this suffering from occurring diminishes.

Sakyamuni Buddha taught that the acceptance of suffering as a noble truth of the condition of living is fundamental to the path of enlightenment. if we can accept that life involves suffering, then when we are confronted with suffering in our lives our inner struggle against it diminishes. we still do what we can to achieve peace and happiness and freedom from suffering for all living beings (which includes ourselves) but we are able to accept the suffering that arises in our lives as a natural course of life. this acceptance of suffering as a natural condition of living decreases stress and anxiety.

the Dalai Lama emphasizes in the book "The Art of Happiness" that adversity is necessary for spiritual development. Mark Howard, MD, elaborates (p181) that if we continually stay in the cocoon of infancy: being coddled, fed soft food and so on, there is no impetus for spiritual growth. the Dalia Lama asserts that the adversity, negative emotions such as anger, hatred, resentment and so on provides the shenpa or the hook. in recognizing shenpa while it is occurring, we are thankful for the opportunity presented for emotional and spiritual growth. (pp178-9) the struggle with avoiding suffering provides the motivation for spiritual growth to occur. emotional and spiritual growth is essential in order to transcend suffering.
so, the Dalai Lama says, we should thank our enemies and the suffering that arises in our lives for the opportunity that comes with it for emotional and spiritual growth. without the shenpa, we will stay wrapped up in our cozy cocoon. while that seems warm, pleasurable and inviting, there we are in a place of emotional and spiritual stagnation. no transformation can occur in that place.

so by accepting that suffering is part of the condition of living, when we are confronted with situations having the potential to cause suffering, we acknowledge that we are going to face suffering in our lives, and this may be one of those instances. that acceptance diminishes the inherent struggle against suffering, thereby decreasing stress and anxiety in our mind. we still try to chart a different course, but with the necessity of avoidance of suffering negated, we preform our actions with the peace of mind that we are getting by as best we can. that suffering may occur. we cannot prevent all suffering from occurring in our lives, and that suffering is necessary for emotional and spiritual growth. thereby we accept our situation with grace, dignity and peace. KB

Inspiration for Overcoming Depression & Adversity

Depression is not an easy emotion to manage, as the millions of Prozac, Wellbutrin and other household-word drugs attest. It is as individual a disease as the person experiencing the painful mind-state, hence a myriad of treatments, some effective, some not so.

Chinese medicine is effective in treating depression. I have helped many patients find there way to happy thoughts and feelings using acupuncture and Chinese herbal formulas which calm the mind and treat the TCM patterns (Traditional Chinese Medicine) causing the imbalance in the body & mind.

Today I'd like to discuss how to shape your frame of mind to see the upside of your life rather than focusing on the negatives. And i do not mean to over-simplify or diminish true problems that may be arising. the point i wish to make here is that regardless of how real or difficult our life problems may be, it is our out look about them that causes us to fall into depression, a state of emotional pain and inactivity, or to focus on the positives of our situation so that we prevent ourselves from falling into the downward spiral.

The technique i am going to outline has worked effectively for me for a number of years. I have begun sharing it with patients who are grappling with difficult life issues and i'm being told that this inspiration is helpful.

This technique involves seeking the positives in any situation. that does not mean pretending a challenge is not difficult. rather, it means finding an upside so that one doesn't wallow in self-pity and victim hood.

I first began using this technique after seeing the movie "Water" at the Blue Ridge Film Festival. What struck me most about this deeply moving piece was the plight of the oppressed women. The movie is set in 1938, the time of Mahatma Gandhi in India. As the movie opens, a young female child is be woken and told that her husband ("Do you remember your wedding?") is dead and you are now a widow. Because the family cannot afford to take care of her, and they are now losing the income from her 'husband' to support themselves, she is being sent off to a 'widows home', where she will live her life in abject poverty. Gold bracelets are broken from her pump wrists, all trapping of wealth removed, her head is shaved. She is deposited at the widows home, where the widows sleep on grass mats on concrete floors in stark, desperate rooms with no furniture, and eat a small portion of bread and gruel for meals. The are ostracized from Indian society: treat as lepers and bad omens. Under these intolerable conditions they live out their lives.

As a woman, i was deeply affected by the images i saw. I felt that by some slim grace of divine intervention i escaped this fate by the luck of a birthright. What if i had been born some years earlier in India? might i have borne this unfortunate circumstance, rather than being a free, educated woman with many opportunities in 21st century America?

The images in the film disturbed me, and i found myself contemplating the circumstances of my life juxtaposed with those of the women represented in this film. Especially when I got low, feeling bad about something that may have happened my life, I would think of these women and look around at where and how i was living. immediately my outlook changed as i realized how fortunate i truly am, and whatever the trouble affecting me, it is minor compared to how difficult life could be.

I found this to be a reliable way of gaining perspective on my situation, and pulling me out of gloomy moods. I began consciously developing the technique as a practice. I would remember trips to mexico and the abject poverty i witnessed there, and added that to the images i would conjure up to remember how fortunate i am to be living here, in this country at this time. In time i found myself becoming happier. I didn't allow myself to go into self pity about an undesirable or 'unfair' circumstance. I began taking adversity in greater stride, realizing how difficult my life could be, and how fortunate i am.

A couple of years ago, I read the autobiography "Infidel" about a muslim woman in africa who suffered much mistreatment, including genital mutilation and being forced by her family into an arranged marriage on another continent. She describes the plight of muslim women as little more than indentured servants, beaten, uneducated and unable to leave their families and survive as individuals on their own. She escapes to Holland, gets freed from this prison of a tortured life, writing movingly about her experience. Her story was an eye opener for me. I was not aware of the pitiful life that muslim women in under-developed countries are forced to lead. Since i have found programs through Global Giving to help these women who are a forgotten percentage of the worlds population. These programs help these women escape abuse, become educated and live independently, an ability western women take for granted.

I added the plight of these Muslim women to my contemplative practice. As i have been cultivating this practice for many years now, i can now draw upon it reliably when times get rough. I think of how much worse my life could be. I draw upon the suffering of the earthquake victims and people of Haiti, the poorest nation on earth, and what it would be like to be in their situation. I think of the flood victims in Pakistan. Recently there was an article in the NY Times about a man who lost everything, home and jet ski business when a decaying dam broke during a summer flood in Iowa. He had no flood insurance, due to the expense of the policy. thinking of these people, i remember that i have a lovely and comfortable home, i have a livelihood that gives me great gratification. When difficulties arise, i remember that others have problems that are exponentially worse, and i can overcome the adversity i face.

No matter how real and difficult problems may be that arise in my life, they pale in comparison to circumstances like these. Though i may feel scared, stressed and blue, i do pull out of it quickly when i call forth these images.

You don't need to use my images, you can cull through your own life experiences to remember those who are suffering. When you think of those who are abused, hungry and truly have nothing, you will be able to put your life problems in perspective. This is a practice one must cultivate to see results. meaning, contemplate the lives of those less fortunate on a regular basis. then, when troubles appears on your doorstep, you'll have a foundation practice to work with to fend them off.

may you find these words useful to help you deal with adversity and difficulties. KB

Be Like the Orange Tree: Offer Your Sweet Fruit & Fragrant Blossoms to the World

From Thich Nhat Hanh's "World We Have: A Buddhist Approach to Peace and Ecology":

"When we look at an orange tree we see that season after season it spends its life producing beautiful green leaves, fragrant blossoms, and sweet oranges. These are the best things an orange tree can create and offer to the world. Human beings also make offerings to the world every moment of our daily lives, in the form of our thoughts, our speech and our actions. We may want to offer the world the best kinds of thought, speech, and action that we can—because they are our continuation, whether we want it to be so or not. We can use our time wisely, generate the energies of love, compassion, and understanding, say beautiful things, inspire, forgive, and act to protect and help the Earth and each other. In this way, we can ensure a beautiful continuation."

Bodhicitta

When happiness is equally dear to others and myself,
Then what is so special about me that I strive after happiness alone?
When fear and suffering are equally abhorrent to others and myself,
Then what is so special about me that I protect myself but not others?

Shantideva

To Develop Tolerance, Patience & Loving Kindness Learn to Embrace Your Enemy

Did not Jesus say, "Love Thy Enemy"? but this is one of the most difficult things to do. If one can learn to love her/his enemy, then the transformative power of love has manifested. one no longer has an enemy. one has a friend.

The Dali Lama says, "It is our enemies who provide us with the challenge we need to develop the qualities of tolerance, patience, and compassion".

Everything has mind in the lead, has mind in the forefront,
is made by mind.
If one speaks or acts with a corrupt mind, misery will follow,
as the wheel of a cart follows the foot of the ox.

Everything has mind in the lead, has mind in the forefront,
is made by mind.
If one speaks or acts with a pure mind, happiness will follow,
like a shadow that never leaves.

"He reviled me; he injured me; he defeated me; he deprived me."
In those who harbor such grudges, hatred never ceases.

"He reviled me; he injured me; he defeated me; he deprived me."
In those who do not harbor such grudges, hatred eventually ceases.

Hatreds do not ever cease in this world by hating,
but by not hating;
this is an eternal truth.

"The Essential Mystics - The soul's Journey into Truth", AHarvey, editor, HarperSanFrancisco. pp72-3.

Don't Let Worldly Matters Upset You: Some Meditation Tips

"That's a worldly matter: don't let it upset you". I've been trying to focus on this statement lately when something comes along that is disturbing or causes some fear or fret. "Remember your calm place" my inner voice intones.

The calm place is that place that i go to during meditation. It has taken me years of meditation practice to consistently find it. I notice that when i'm meditating daily i can remember it easily, but if i start skipping days and am inconsistent then i spend most of my time trying to calm the discursive thoughts.

beginners find this discursiveness frustrating and often give up. experienced meditators recognize it as an aspect of mind, and work through it.

i let my state of mind be a signal to me of my stress level: if i can't easily calm my thoughts, then i know i must work at reducing the stress in my life which is preventing me from being calm.

when i sit in meditation i begin with some yoga breathing exercises (pranayama) followed by chanting. this helps to quiet the mind. i chant om mani padme hum . any repetitive world or phase from any spiritual tradition will be helpful. choose a phrase that is meaningful to you. Om is a universal spiritual sound, pronounced "Aum" or ah-o-mmm. it is the root for the word amen .

Wikipedia on Om

before the breathing and the chanting, i like to state my purpose for meditating: why am i sitting today and what do i wish to accomplish from this meditation session. when my mind begins to wander i call it back, and try to remember my purpose in sitting.

when the thoughts get especially discursive and i cannot stay quiet, i visualize an image that's meaningful and inspiring to me. a deity, prophet or saint from any spiritual tradition will be helpful for this purpose. Whatever is inspirational to you and can help you to keep your focus.

when i'm meditating daily i can usually go fairly quickly to that place of calm abiding. in the body, i find it in my chest, behind my sternum (breast bone). it's connected to the heart energy. if i don't immediately find it, i can sometimes get there by focusing on the third eye (the spiritual center, between the eyebrows) and the heart energy simultaneously (i literally go to to the area of my physical heart behind the ribs in my chest). when i have those 2 centers in focus, i stay with it for a bit. then i go the well of my true being. not the one that flitters about, one minute happy, making plans, later angry or sad, but the wise, knowing 'old soul' as some may call it. i find this place physically behind the sternum. i remind myself to remember where this place is so i can easily find it again. when i waver, i call myself back to this dwelling place.

when i find myself fretting, worrying, sad or angry, i remind my self that the problem is a worldly matter and to find the place of calm abiding in which to dwell. KB

Boundaries Create the Ego

Boundaries create the ego.

Or put another way: the ego is comprised of boundaries between self and other.

To weaken or destroy the ego, one must first dissolve the boundaries, carefully. The id and ego do not take well to threats, and due to this fear will fight hard to protect their existence. This inner struggle can be quite difficult to endure. KB

Words to Live By

Abstain from all that is evil.
Perform all that is good.
Purify your thoughts.
This is the teaching of the Buddhas.

Maintaining Inner Peace to Provide Certainty During Uncertain Times

I noticed this piece, What You Don't Know Makes You Nervous, on the cause of anxiety in the Op/Ed of the NY Times this morning. In it, Daniel Gilbert shows that people are happier with certainty, and that uncertainty is the cause unhappiness. To make his point, Gilbert cites studies showing that faced with the certainty verses the uncertainty of an unfortunate circumstance, such as a chronic disease condition, those with certainty of the unfortunate event were less nervous than those for whom the predictability of the event is uncertain. In other words, it is the the 'not knowing' that causes mental unrest, not the actual event.

Gilbert relates this information to the uncertain economic times we live in. People have a lot of fear about their economic future, their job security and so forth, which is causing an upswing in the incidence of depression, anxiety and insomnia. According to Gilbert, it is the uncertainty about the future that is causing the mental angst, not the actual outcome. If people were certain about the outcome, even a negative one, such as job loss, they would have more mental stability. Certainty gives one a course to chart, rather than aimless drifting which is difficult for the mind to deal with.

This is where one's spiritual convictions come to play. Knowing that one is in this (physical) world, but not of it (of the spiritual realm) helps one to avoid the pitfall of getting tossed around by the drama of the day. Knowing that we are mere players on this stage, but that our real place is in another dimension allows us to step out of the set, and gain perspective on the scene being played out.

I will cop to a panic weekend last November, when the markets had crashed and the economy had plummeted. I credit my meditation practice with getting me through the emotional crisis. In meditation one connects to our true nature (spirit, soul . . .) and gets out of the ego-driven mind. Our true nature is our connection to the divine (tao, universal consciousness . . .). Operating from this place we are able to navigate the trouble waters, whatever they may be. Maintaining this soul-connection we have the knowledge and strength to weather the storms of life. The real challenge is in maintaining this connection to our core being. If we are able to do that the rest falls away, allowing the underlying peace and stillness of our true nature to emerge.

For this reason, I advocate developing and maintaining a daily meditation practice to calm the mind, to foster this connection, and to stay plugged in.

One of the keys to getting through this recession intact is to take care of oneself. Due to the increased stress of economic uncertainty, now more than ever it is of vital importance to maintain one's physical and mental health. In doing so, you send a firm message to yourself that you are taking care of yourself. Knowing that you are able to take care and provide for your needs, and are doing so, works to develop peace of mind and eliminate the uncertainty of the future. It is certain that you will take are of your needs because you are doing just that. Taking care of yourself means developing and maintaining a regular exercise program, eating regular nutritious, satisfying meals in a relaxed space, incorporating stress reduction activities, such as meditation, yoga, tai chi, qi gong, walking in nature . . . , and treating any health conditions as they arise. By taking care of yourself you reinforce that regardless of the external circumstances you are providing for your well being. In doing so you gain peace of mind in knowing that you are providing for your physical, mental and spiritual needs and maintaining inner harmony. KB

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Daniel Gilbert is professor of psychology at Harvard University and author of “Stumbling on Happiness.” More of his writing and videos of his appearances can be found at his Web site.

Random Acts of Kindness Improve Health

I was just watching Dr. Wayne Dyer's Power of Intention on PBS this afternoon. He highlighted some interesting medical research on the health benefits of preforming acts of kindness. Apparently researchers have studied the effects of acts of kindness on both the giver, receiver and the witnesses and have concluded that preforming acts of kindness increases serotonin levels and strengthens immune function in both the giver, receiver and witnesses of acts of kindness.

Serotonin's are brain neurotransmitters, a type of endorphin. Increased levels in serotonin's are seen in happy people: increased endorphin levels are the brain chemicals responsible for the 'runners high'. Many of the anti-depressant drugs function to increase brain serotonin levels.

According to Dyer, researchers have found that witnessing, giving or receiving acts of kindness will increase these brain chemicals, in addition to strengthening immune function. It doesn't get more empowering than that! KB

The Dalai Lama Provdes Inspiration on Overcoming Adversity

Today's contemplation from the Dalai Lama (January 22 The Path To Tranquility: Daily Wisdom) has to do with overcoming adversity. He mentions that he counsels his countrymen that they were born in the darkest of ages. Truly in Tibet's history this is true, with the Chinese taking over and destroying Tibetan culture.

But, he says to remember that in despair there is the opportunity to overcome. Adversity is a time to tests one's mettle, one's will & drive, one's strength of character. And through this opportunity there is the dawn of hope. From this viewpoint, he says we are fortunate. Fortunate to have the skills and abilities to overcome the adversity we face.

In reflecting, honestly my first thought was, "Wow".

The Dalai Lama is emphasizing here the importance of having a positive attitude. Positive attitude is the first step in overcoming. One must have the belief and confidence that one has the inner strength and ability to overcome in order to muster that strength to get the ball rolling to overcome. This is the survivors attitude. Chin up, don't give up, forge on. This is what one must do in order to move forward.

I am currently reading the Dalai Lama's The Art of Happiness. Positive attitude is the pathway to happiness.

Today, reading these words, I thought that his message is particularly poignant given the state of our economy. It's an inspiring contemplation on how to navigate through difficult times. No one is immune to this recession yet we will get though it together by utilizing our inner strength. This is Obama's message to the country.

So, though facing adversity, such as these economic times, is frightening it is by drawing on our inner strength that we will find the tools to get through and soldier forth to more prosperous times ahead.

Right now, we all have to do a little belt tightening and re-prioritizing. But after the excesses of the past few years, it's appropriate that we reassess and decide what is truly important in our lives. This is a time to chart a new course according to our values and priorities.

Though the decisions may not be easy, and we may have to swallow a few bitter pills in the process, we will come out on the other side stronger for the journey taken. KB